At the end of last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, a massive conflict erupted.
For once, it wasn’t about food. Erin and Ubah’s prank war had gone too far.
Erin crossed a line. Then Ubah crossed another. A bitter feud erupted, and things were uncomfortably physical — even without a brawl.
This week, we saw the bitter aftermath. Also … Jessel has an actual, written list of wrongs against her? Help, I might have to stan.
First, the briefest of rehashes.
Ubah had pushed Erin into the pool. Erin got her back — indirectly.
For many people (for me, specifically), pushing into the pool would be the end of all social ties. But, at this point, things were pretty jovial between these two Housewives.
So, Ubah left her phone in one of the vehicles. It happens.
Many of us have at least one tall, beautiful friend who is forever leaving their phone in odd places. (There are phone-finding devices that will save your life, FYI)
Erin collected it from the villa staff. And then kept it from Ubah for about 45 minutes.
Suffice it to say that Ubah was unhappy when she learned that someone had hidden her phone.
That’s not a prank. Especially not in another country. Yes, it could have been worse — Ubah is with friends and producers.
But many people are extremely touchy about our phones. They’re lifelines to loved ones, and they hold personal information.
The rest of the cast could only witness Ubah and Erin’s conflict.
Ubah decided to show Erin how this felt — by physically violating her space to remove the sunglasses from her head.
Erin had escalated. So Ubah escalated in response. And then it was no longer just an argument.
This was, the Housewives acknowledged, the most intense argument that they’d had all season.
Ubah did not return Erin’s sunglasses.
At least, not at first.
Jenna attempted to play peacemaker.
She gave Erin emotional support, but she wasn’t, like, Team Erin in a faction sense.
To the camera, Jenna admitted that this was just not that serious of a situation.
“Ubah, sweetie, can I just have her sunglasses back?” Jenna asked.
The answer was “no.”
In fact, Ubah set a timer on her phone. Erin can have the glasses back in 45 minutes — around as long as Erin had Ubah’s phone.
Speaking to the confessional camera, Ubah shared why the phone thing was such a big deal.
She travels a lot. So she has promised her family to check in, every day. This way, they’ll know that she’s safe.
But frankly, she didn’t need to explain. Not wanting a friend (or “friend”) to abscond with your phone does not require an explanation.
Meanwhile, Jenna spoke to Sai about her continuing confusion over Brynn’s tampon story.
In her mind, an accidental anal insertion would simply be much more painful than a vaginal one.
This provided a brief reprieves from discussing the topic at hand.
Once they arrived and set about getting drinks, Ubah walked in wearing Erin’s sunglasses.
Eventually, though, the timer went off.
She passed over the sunglasses to Erin.
Actually, Erin requests that someone else touch the glasses first.
Jenna obliges, eager for this to be over.
Erin then thanks Jenna for finding them for her. It’s all very … goofy, honestly.
With bitterness on the rise, Ubah dragged some of Erin’s past statements into the light.
(She did a lot of this, as the episode continued)
For example, she told Brynn that Erin had called her a “social climber.”
After a while, Erin stepped away.
Jenna went with her, continuing to offer emotional support without engaging too much in the feud.
Erin expressed her disgust that no one else from the group had rushed to check on her.
Later, Erin called her father. She said that this conflict reminded her of being in 7th grade.
Middle school is the most miserable time of many people’s lives. Erin recalled her nickname at the time, “Long Jaw Silver.”
Middle schoolers are masters of the craft of identifying your one insecurity and making it the crux of their insults. Anyway, Erin’s dad encouraged her to remain strong, or whatever.
On the way back, Brynn — still smarting from how Erin has treated her to her face and behind her back — spoke to Jessel.
She told her castmate about how Erin has portrayed her as a “dumb-dumb.”
Well, Jessel has some things to say about Erin.
This is when Jessel announced that she has a list of Erin’s shady behavior.
Not, like, a mental one. One slight is mental.
Two or more, Jessel explained, and she starts writing it down.
Jessel keeps this list of Erin’s wrongdoings on her phone.
She even read a couple — to Brynn and Ubah’s astonishment and delight.
Also to mine. At the risk of sounding like Brynn at Erin’s anniversary party, how solid is Jessel’s marriage? Asking for a friend who admires her pettiness.
Back at the villa, Ubah and a post-crying Erin talked things out.
Make no mistake, things quickly became heated.
There was some condescension, though we’ll admit that “you have a right to feel that way” is sometimes the best that you can do.
The feud ended up directly or indirectly involving just about everyone.
We say “just about” because Jenna was busy, like, being nice to the villa staff and generally staying out of it while keeping “busy.”
That was wise of her. Ubah and Erin cycled between reconciliatory to furious with each other.
By the way? During all of this, Ubah misplaced her phone.
Brynn, who is a diligent friend as well as wildly gorgeous, went to go find it.
It was in the vehicle. At least no one had taken and hidden it, this time.
The other ladies began talking about how Erin had insulted them.
Brynn noted this in particular.
From Erin’s point of view, however, her descriptions of them had not been insults. “Social climber” is shady at worst.
Eventually, Erin and Ubah did hug it out. It was nice to see.
Brynn’s attempt at seducing Jenna did not pan out.
But we’ll keep our fingers crossed for the next try.
Erin Lichy and Ubah Hassan Have RHONY 14’s Worst Fight Yet (Recap) was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.
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